Rainbow brite

Rainbow brite

Light, bright, damn near white,
high yella heifer, dirty redbone,
honey-toasted, pecan-colored,
cat eyes, ugly eyes, what color is yo' eyes?
green eyes, grey eyes, hazel eyes
she think she cute, you ain't that fine,
skin like a yellow tulip, thin two lips,
hair pulled, pushed down on the playground,
soft hair, can't get an afro, silky like grandmoms,
freckles, freckles? freckles, huh freckles,
soft smile, teeth straight, polished pearls,
'you are so beautiful, not like the rest,'
fierce proud, strong, no traitor, flee from me satan,
rainbow brite on the outside,
no one blacker than you on the inside, no one

(For all my light-skinned sisters who suffered because of ignorance and envy, who are the blackest of black women and should be told that. We come in every color of the rainbow.)

This belongs to Biggie Mann. All rights reserved. Don't steal my ish!

Farrakhan on women ... incredible

I came out to the Nation of Islam mosque in Chicago last Sunday and got to hear Min. Louis Farrakhan, or as the Muslims' say, "the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan" (and I'm with that, he's the strongest leader we got and been on the same program and path for 50 years dealing with Black folks and under attacks from White folks, honorable, indeed and in truth!), and he talked about women and it was beautiful Muslim women and girls EVERYWHERE! I mean the men had to sit outside and listen and watch on a big screen on the scene outside the mosque (that was pretty cool) and sit in the gym in the Muslim school (yes they got their own school too). When I beautiful, I mean beautiful enough to restore a man's faith in love and good women, with a beauty beyond their physical looks (which were beautiful). I mean these sisters looked, acted and sounded like true Mothers of Civilization as the Minister said they are. But then he started teaching that this is the nature of Black women and women. Deep.

Women don't see themselves as divine but men and women are from the same divine essence, the Minister said. (Isn't is something how when somebody says, "The Minister ..." that you know they are talking about Farrakhan, it's automatic ... Nobody else is "The Minister," there may be other ministers but The Minister is the definite article--just a little English lesson. I.E., look up meaning for "the" at dictionary.com.)

Then he talks about the White man wanted and wants women ignorant to keep the world in the state it is in and how the styles for women are created by freaks. Now did you ever think that the "top" designers are men who are not into women, but into men? so that being the case, how do they see women and can they see women properly if they aren't into a natural relationship with a woman, so what do they see when they look at her? Just askin' a question.

Then he talks about how men and women have been de-natured so they can't produce what they should be able to produce. Min. Farrakhan said, "My dear sisters: We are the children of slaves. The slave master had a purpose for us that was not the Aim of God. ... When you look at yourself on the screen today in Hollywood, and other places, how does Hollywood portray not only Black women but White women as well? According to what I have read from one Jewish author who described in his book about how "Jews invented Hollywood," and they keep the Black women looking like a "tart." Do you know what a "tart" is? It's something sweet and nice; delicious, delectable, delightful, as in an "after-dinner tart."

A tart? A thing to be devoured to satisfy an appetite? And not even a meal,a little something extra? I sure as hell don't want my daughter to be no damn tart! 

And I got to be honest sisters, if you show it, the average man will look and if you offer or give it the average man will take it too. That's just the truth and that's why men put women in different categories, like "wifey material," in other words someone of worth and a future and some status and some respect. What do you want to be? And men what do you want our women or your wife, sister, daughter, cousin, mother to be thought of? Read more at www.finalcall.com, the Nation newspaper. I already copped my copy!

I never knew I was a poet

Never knew I was a poet,
didn't seem like there was much money in it,
didn't read no ads:POET WANTED!
didn't have nobody say write what you feel,

Never knew I was a poet,
it sho' nuff ain't seem kool,
it wasn't like my name was shakespeare,
it didn't come up as a trade,

Never knew I was a poet,
i didn't have nothin to say,
i ain't weak,
i sure ain't caucasian
i don't feel nothin' noway,

Never knew I was a poet ...
until i met you.

Dedicated to the Black women who inspire Blackmen.
Biggie Mann (c) All rights reserved. Don't steal my ish!

Ebony love: Darker than a thousand midnights

 

Ebony love,
yea you,
nappy-headed lil girl, with the big eyes and ashy elbows,
darker than the deepest chocolate and twice as sweet,
yea  you,
ebony love,
with the blond streaks and the blue contacts covering your beautiful jet blackeyes,
hiding your beauty behind a false impression and impersonation of who you are,
why you think she always in the sun and go to jamaica and get her hair corn-rowed?
why you think he crossed oceans and seas to kidnap you?
you didn't know? still don't know?
you are the prize,
yes you, 
black gold? huh.
it ain't oil, it's you.


Dedicated to all the dark-skinned little girls who need to be told they are beautiful women. Ya dig?
Biggie Mann (c) All rights reserved. Don't steal my ish!

Cha-ching,daddy is an automated cash machine

When I came across this graphic I had to have it because it is really true. My role in my children's lives seems to have been reduced to this one single fact: how much money do you have and what are you going to buy? It started with a crazy azz order from a judge and empowered by his crazy azz decision, the witch feels like she controls everything. She is getting half of my money --- yes half and wants more. Can't happen? Huh, it can if you go to court expecting a fair hearing and not having a lawyer. They aren't called mouthpieces for nothing. They speak the language of the court and the legal system and not having one can be like going to Yemen and trying to speak English to be people who speak Arabic and a tribal dialect! You won't get too far on the communication side, actually you might get further than you would in a Court Room because those people are likely to have morals and scruples and are likely to try to give you a fair shake. Much different in court. Justice? You can get all the justice you can afford. Period.

So with the judge's decision and my ex, it's all about the money. Never mind that I have never not supported my children fully and I don't mean a damn cream sickle on a summer day or a once a year donation to baby momma. I mean fully from before they were born to dealing with the witch today.

She gets her money on the regular but her new tactic,  when I don't accede to her demands for more money is to now tell my children, "Ask your dad about that" or "Tell your ad to pay that." So children being children, they obey and ask, feeling stressed about asking and stressed about whether dad can come through. Well mom can come through, especially with the couple grand a month she gettin' FROM dad but she doesn't explain that to the kids. And I am trying not to put the financial thing in their minds but I let them know, $1 from every $2 daddy gets goes to you. I don't want them to think that since I am out of the house that I have forgotten about them. Not to mention that I get them one day each week and every other weekend and spend money those times too. Spending the money is not the problem, it is that the percentage is so wayyyyy out of wack with reality and, in truth, limits what I can do when I actually have my children.

In other words, the money that goes to the witch keeps me from having money to do much with the babies when I have them. So in other words, if the child support wasn't so out of wack I could do more with the kids and give them more directly from me --- that's important --- especially since the witch and her relatives bad mouth me to the babies.
It's a real mother for ya. I am a dad, a real dad, not perfect, but loving, supportive, bill payin', make breakfast, take to school, take to the doctor, rubbed their momma's stank-swollen-feet-when-she-was-pregnant-dad. Ok. Her feet didn't stink but they are ugly. Anyway. My point is I love and have taken care of my children but now that someone has my gonads in a financial vise grip, the only thing seems to matter is money and she is taking my money. The result? I can't win. No matter what I do. I see why some men say, "Ok, take the money, the children and leave me the phuck alone." I see why. I never thought I would see why, watching my mother and other women struggle with children alone, I always identified with the pain and struggle of women. Funny, the witch, who has everything, actually tries to act like she is a suffering, single mother. Get the phuck outta here, she got someone who is paid to clean the damn house. WTF?

But it's all about the money. Sad.You will never get men to be better fathers if you don't treat them fairly, and stop this kind of madness. It only alienates men from children. I know somebody who had a baby by someone and they never married, never went to court. He helped make sure she completed her education and she decided that her child would have a better life if they both had good lives. So they worked it out themselves with both sides contributing and the child living between two homes with good parents. That makes sense and is good for the child.

All be damned

They say be careful what you say cuz it might bite you. After all my nice words yesterday about dealing with the ex, I almost lot it today, almost. But I didn't. It was luck or something, God, or some force that just kept me from going off. It doesn't make sense to be divorced from someone but still be embroiled in so much conflict.

Insanity. But I saw the princess again today and that was good. I should have reflected on my own words. Smile. I am still trying to figure out how cats can get away with doing nothing for the kids and have no worries, no troubles, but I have ALWAYS done for mine and can't catch a break or make a break. All I got to say is, if you are in a divorce proceeding get a good lawyer and tell the lawyer what you want.

 

Also if you want to be decent, don't expect the other side to be decent. Protect your interests, think long-term and be aware. You have been warned.

Why is the hell is UN in Haiti?

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jQDClbkVOSFQK4r0qAX8Z4aUP_Qg?docId=250c395ddc074bc38dde58cd84ffc46c http://sabbah.biz/mt/archives/2010/10/23/un-peacekeepers-complicit-in-sex-trade/

If you haven't heard, there has been an explosion of outrage and protests with charges that UN peacekeepers from Uruguay sexually abused an 18-year-old man in Haiti. At least part of the encounter was caught on cell phone video and has spread like wildfire. If this was the first violation of the brothers and sisters in Haiti that would be bad enough, but it is not. Thousands of Haitians have died as a result of cholera, a waterborne disease, which is believed to have originated with peacekeepers from Nepal and a lack of sanitation from their base  that passed the cholera into a local river. Some tests done on the strain of cholera have almost conclusively proved it came from the peacekeepers.

There have been so many deadly clashes between Haitians and the  supposed to be protectors that even using the name peacekeepers is a dubious designation. Many Haitians call the UN troops an occupying force. They came in following the removal of democratically-elected President Jean Bertrand Aristide, who was ousted in February 2004, and lived in exile in South Africa. He accused the US of orchestrating the coup d'état against him and finally returned to Haiti on March 18 after seven years in exile.

The United Nations Stabilization Mission in Haiti (MINUSTAH) was established on June 1, 2004 by Security Council resolution 1542. So in additional to opening door to bombing the hell out of Libya, we have UN peacekeepers raping boys in Haiti!? Yeah. UN is the front group for US and her cronies robbin' and killin' folks, just think about Iraq.

Haiti also isn't the first place peacekeepers have been accused of or guilty of abusing people that should find security under their charge. Sex trafficking and other abuses were found in Bosnia and sex abuses have happened in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and a ton of other places. Some say one problem is the home governments these troops are drawn from don't do anything for crimes committed and the UN has a history of pulling out troops accused of abuses and sending them home before investigations are finalized and any punishments handed out. This Save the Children report documented some of the abuses,
click here for info.  


Blacks folk can't find saviors nowhere, we better save ourselves!

All's fair ... no not really

All's fair in love and war right? Kinda. Except when the kids get caught in the crossfire and then it's a problem. So I am not claiming to be Mr. Never Blows His Stack and believe me it ain't easy dealing with the witch. But I did manage, with a lot of effort, to avoid  letting her push me over the edge and act in a way that would have upset my babies. It took everything in my power but I kept calm enough to walk away from a conflict even though it meant that she "won."

Instead of upsetting the offspring, I had a good time with them and I saw again how much my daughter loves me. And she didn't see an argument or disagreement between two people she loves. So I saved my baby some pain because the babies loves the witches and the a-holes because the witch to me and the a-hole to you go by the tittles "mom" and "dad." Ain't that a b---h?


But if we love our children, I guess we have to go through some stuff to protect the children. So the next time you want to"bless out" the ex in front of the children or within their earshot, think about the baby and walk away. You can always send the witch or the a-hole a private text! Hey I didn't say I was perfect!





 

Baby girl love

My daughter loves me. I mean she lovvvvves me, like a little magnet attached to my leg, like right there with me. And she is always talking about taking care of me. She's a four-year-old. I wonder if she sees or feels something from me that intrinsically let's her know that I am going through something --- or maybe she's just heard her momma talkin'. And maybe she thinkin', "Man, daddy is facing some hell." Lol. Could be.

But her love always makes me think about how important the relationship is with a little girl, a  proper relationship. I have had 40-something year old women confide in me that they still hurt from strained relations or know relationships with their fathers --- let alone the ones abused by fathers and more likely stepfathers.

I have had a couple women confide in me about how they were abused. It was stunning, to see the look in their eyes, the pain in their voices, the terror in their expressions. Each time it was like they were these little girls with a grown man taking advantage of them. I personally think child abusers should be hung from light poles or executed on television. The damage they do can span across generations: It hurts the women and can then affect their children, whose experience in turn affects their children until you have one long multi-generational chain of pain. You would be surprised at how many Black women and their mothers have been abused --- and their grandmothers. Imagine that. Terror. Horror. Shame. And who do they talk to? Very few people.

So for me it's all about fathers or the men in the lives of girls protecting these girls, they are too precious to be devoured like that. Can we do a referendum on hanging convicted child molesters? Why don't they try that one one in California, they pass all the other crazy resolutions. Hey, um just sayin'. I think I'll call Ward Connerlly, the Black face to the death of affirmative action ballot measures in Cali, and see what he thinks.That would be affirmative action.  Check this out for an academic perspective,  http://www.vision.org/visionmedia/family-relationships/fathers-daughters/3136.aspx

The one that got away ... come on every now and then she comes to mind

One of my problems is I try to do the right thing and doing the right is the right thing, but sometimes it can put you in situations. In life you learn things and experience teaches you lessons, sometimes harsh lessons, put what is done is done so crying over spilled milk is rather useless.

But every now and then you think about her or maybe him? Maybe it's a fleeting thought or a real regret, especially when things turn out to be crappy. Well before I served my more-than-decade marriage with the witch, there was someone else I had an interest in but she was seeing someone else so I did nothing. We had one conversation but I was trying to do the right thing and I think I misread what she was saying, so I basically said, naw i only see you as a friend. Bad choice. She married got a D and we talked again, miscommunication, and I made another horrible decision, horrible decision, rash decision, because I thought we would never have a chance together. So every now and then I think of what might have been and whether we would have, could have been happy. You know like in the movies where the person gets to see what would have happened if they had not been born, or not taken a particular turn, or not MARRIED that person, and you get this alternate reality.

Man, I wonder what life might have been with this person, would we have been happy or would I have effed it up? We would have had beautiful children and I think we would have been good for each other, I really do. Can it happen now? Hmmmm. Mannnn. That's a whole 'nother blog post, but I don't think she really knows my side and fully understands it. But if anybody got that alternate reality device, please call me. Or if you got a time machine, either one will do. And, by the way, thanks to the person who suggested I start this blog.

Speaking of my boy Ralph ... child support claim and jail

I  swear I had not read this before my previous post, but my D Phi D brother, the Divorce Fraternity, Inc., and basketball great Ralph Sampson damn near got the shaft again.

Look at this:

Ex-NBA star Ralph Sampson jailed in Gwinnett; disputes claim of child support failure

By Marcus K. Garner

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

4:46 p.m. Thursday, August 25, 2011 College basketball great and four-time NBA All-Star Ralph Sampson is free after being jailed for several hours in Gwinnett County for numerous traffic violations.
But Sampson, 51, says police got one accusation wrong.
"My license was not suspended for failure to meet child support obligations of any kind," he said in an email sent Wednesday afternoon to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
The former Houston Rockets center, who lives in Duluth, was arrested Tuesday night for having, among other things, a suspended license that was the result of failure to meet child support obligations, according to police reports.
Sampson was pulled over that evening around 7 p.m., in the Peachtree Corners area of Gwinnett County by a police officer doing license tag checks. Sampson’s license plate was expired.
Subsequent checks found  Sampson’s license was suspended and that the seven-footer had an open arrest warrant from Duluth for failing to appear in court on a 2008 auto insurance violation.
Sampson, through a spokeswoman's email, disputed a part of the police report.
"This issue had nothing to do with child support," he reiterated in the email.  He said the suspension was "due to the non-payment of a $35 reinstatement fee."
In response to a question from the AJC about the accuracy of the police report, Gwinnett County police spokesman Cpl. Jake Smith said the information the arresting officer received came from the Georgia Crime Information Center and National Crime Information Center.
So, to the question of whether this was a case of officer error, Smith said, "if he put it in the report, I doubt it."
Sampson bonded out shortly after midnight Wednesday.
The 7-foot, 4-inch Sampson was a star during the 1980s, leading the University of Virginia Cavaliers to a Final Four appearance in 1980, and, as part of the ‘Twin Towers” tandem of centers (with Akeem Olajuwon), scored a buzzer-beater to bounce the L.A. Lakers from the 1986 NBA Western Conference Championship series.
He was a three-time NCAA College Player of the year, was named the NBA Rookie of the Year in 1984, and was named MVP of the NBA All-Star game in 1985.

See  once you get in their damn system, you got problems, no matter what you do. Again damn shame. Ralph I feel for you.

Divorce is a mutha ...

The big D. Everybody is doing it. Just found out a friend is getting one. I already had one. Man I thought her and the hubby were really happy. Huh. People thought the same thing about me and my ex. By the way, divorce is likely to be a good part of this blog, just warnin' you. and I am not anti-Black women, just anti-One Black woman, talk about a witch. Boy I got the queen of the witches.

She got me by the proverbial gonads, got the money, got the children, got everything and she still ain't happy. You remember the old Richard Pryor joke, "Got any dreams? We want them too." Yep.

I am thinking about starting a support group for good Black dads that got divorced because there is no help out there for you, if you ain't on drugs, ain't got a record, ain't unemployed, ain't whuppin' her azz, ain't abusin' your offspring. Nothing. Nowhere to turn, no resources, no nothing. It all costs money. It's a shame.

Dads should and must support their children, but man get the wrong judge and you are up ish creek. Again it's all about money.

And the Queen of the Witches, um talkin' 'bout 5,6,7,8,9 texts or emails a day sumtimes for nothing but to annoy and harass me. I told her she got an unhealthy obsession. I think it could be because I never begged her or pleaded, she served the papers, I shrugged and moved on. What? Was I supposed to beg? Come on. It's over, it's over. Period. But can we just move on? I mean really, it's been almost a year and we still in court --- and the divorce is final.

You know the funny thing is I really read divorce stories now, like I am in a Delta Phi Delta fraternity, the divorce fraternity and getting updates on my frat brothers. Crazy. Like Ralph Sampson,  
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ralph_Sampson, went through a divorce. I used to hate him back in the day because he played for UVa, bunch of White boys on a team called the Wahoos, and was a huge high school prospect, and did ok in college and decent in the NBA. Got a D and ended up going to jail and living with his parents. Sad man, sad. He didn't have a lawyer and got the shaft, sounds like someone else I know very well. Sad, grown, 7'4 man, back with parents and you know he expected to be able to take care of them.

Just a crazy system, no justice, no balance. You get all the justice you can afford. If you can't afford any, you get none.

Welcome to my world ...

You ever just want to scream? No. I mean scream at the top of your lungs and exhale all the ish you have inhaled and expel all the times you wanted to strangle someone but you didn't? Or all the episodes where you had the impulse to give a bunch of folks the big "eff U!" Or those moments when fantasies of mowing down your enemies came to mind? Oh stop, I said, "fantasies," not plan-ta-sies, stop being such a wuss. Anytime Black folks hear anything about anger or payback, they start quaking and shaking, but let somebody step on your toe and you ready to cut a niggra. 

I got a rite to be hostile.

I am mad as hell. Yep. Another angry Black man, so I must not be the president, huh? Ok. Don't hit me with the hate mail. Love the brotha, but damn, just how far is he going to bend over for these people? They are out to destroy him at all costs. I say paint the White House black, put Michelle in an Afro, the girls in some military fatigues and tell the crackers, "Man kiss my big black ... ."

Yea. Um mad. Consider James Baldwin: "To be conscious in America is to be in a constant state of rage.

So why aren't you angry, everybody else is. Or are you just afraid?